This post is created out of the need to answer frequently asked questions and comments I have received. As always, my viewpoint is based on years of practice and research. First of all, this post aims to shed light on taboo topics that are unfortunately often misused. My experience through guiding regressions, researching past lives and akashic records certainly contributed to formation of my views. However, each of you is invited to draw their own conclusion on this.
Karmic love asks us to take responsibility and let go of guilt and anger. This is possible only when we find strength, decide to break toxic patterns and make changes in our behavior. Karmic love, which exists in many varieties, initiates us for what we do not want to deal with. Toxic relationship lasts until we make a decision that it is high time to address painful feelings which have been demanding attention for a long time.
Karmic love is an opportunity to let go of unhealthy attachment and not repeat destructive patterns. In practice, it is much more difficult to implement this without tears! In this post I will mention some astrological factors as there are too many to be covered in one article. Also, it is possible to have all astrological factors and not have love problems or be in karmic relationship.
It is useful to first read “Are you in a karmic relationship?” for easier understanding of the topic. Ending such relationships requires a woman to go through emotional and energetic regeneration that I have explained in “Natal Venus regeneration after karmic relationships“. Karmic relationships require us to focus on ourselves, not on our partner. Goal of karmic love is always our transformation!
Examples of karmic love
It is always important to understand our natal aspects. Karmic partner helps us work on these aspects. Through it, we can understand which aspects we use the most and whether we nurture or deny our own power through our behavior. Karmic relationships may involve falling in love with a very sick partner, with existential problems or a desire that cannot possibly be fulfilled.
Sometimes he is a victim of a bad marriage, has no money/job, but has an irresistible charm and tendency to blackmail and manipulate. Many people think that love from a past life is the cause of current unhappiness and problems in these relationships. Cause of current unhappiness is our behavior now.
We always have responsibility and if relationship problem persists, we have to change. And it’s never just one past life that could be impacting you now. Like a mirror, partner shows our emotional state, in order for us to gather strength and open to light. As we usually open to darkness first, decisions we make may have consequences for several generations.
With love inexperience in these relationships, we go over ugly, ignoring and arrogant behavior. Partner expects that there will always be someone naive enough to fulfill his desires. Along with fatal attraction comes a lot of problems, stress, jealousy, obsessiveness and turbulent psycho-physical/hormonal oscillations. Still, karmic love lasts as long as there is toxic behavior! Partner controls us much better when we are desperate and weak than when we know ourselves.
He doesn’t need us to be happy and strong, because he feeds on our negative emotions and low vibration. However, person with a “hollow” aura helps their partner solve problems without seeing that they are being manipulated. That’s why she/he attracts partners who demand absolute sacrifice. In the beginning, we somehow cater to these expectations. Over time, we get tired because our partner demands more and more and there is very little love.
Suitcase full of problems
Problems will not only be focused on relationship, but can affect hormones, mental and physical health. Nightmares with astral visits are common, too. Broken bones, teeth, traumatic accidents, serious surgeries and losses do not just happen by accident. Universe is sometimes cruel to take us away from a person who is harmful to us. Strong person will break free from this toxic karmic relationship. Mentally weak person will continue this relationship for a very long time.
Many clients tell me that even though they know they have to end this fatal attraction makes them unable to resist. This is also a sign of karmic relationship. However, fatal attraction is our trait that our partner brings to life in us. That’s why not all people will experience fatal attraction if they don’t have it in their birth chart. Some will only see it in movies or read about it in novels. Also, there must be at least three similar factors in order to be able to talk about fatal attraction in synastry since it can be one-sided.
Houses XII and VIII, planets in Scorpio and female Venus in aspect to male Mars are frequent indicators. Synastry Moon in trine whose dispositors form flowing aspects is an important factor. Combination of planets in Scorpio and Cancer emphasizes strong attraction with easy aspect of Venus and Pluto. I would also recommend book “Secrets of Attraction” by Sandra Ann Taylor, which explains how energy circulates in sexual and emotional relationships. It can help you stop rushing into relationships that only show that you don’t love yourself.
Karmic relationships lead to personality transformation
Pluto brings transformation through pain, but in karmic love it destroys everything that exists. If we must be with our karmic partner all the time, or dependent on his love/emotions and at the same time encouraged to self-destructive behavior, we are in a toxic relationship. Relationship brings self-destruction from passion, obsessive tendencies and wrong channeling of energy. Irrational attachment to strong emotional intensity brings a lot of problems.
If relationship is full of crises and contains emotional or physical violence, which is much more common than it is talked about, relationship clearly shows unhealthy tendencies. If we do not have strength to listen to our Higher Self, our power will be handed over to a partner who will (un)consciously trigger our dark emotions with his behavior. Relationship then starts to taste like toxic mold. And it is not a perfume that you would fancy because it drives everyone else who would like you as far away from you as possible.
Destructive partner wants you only for himself. However, not the way you would like it or how you imagined in sleepless nights. That’s why sometimes it happens that after several years of breaking up, we still can’t be in a relationship with someone else because that “smell” still lives in our aura. No one is comfortable facing themselves, so many karmic relationships can last a very long time. Dirty laundry that is exposed at the beginning of a karmic relationship is proportional to poison that is inside us.
An example of a Venus/Pluto relationship
This is one of the most intense aspects in karmic synastry indicating love that is killed by control and manipulation, usually involving money or real estate. These losses initiate us to find a way to love ourselves. If Mars is involved next to an aspect with Pluto, hatred and anger can arise. And if we are badtempered, lots of violence and drama results in this union.
Partners compete against each other in hurtful behavior and unhealthy pattern escalates because it must be cut out. Plutonian relationship always involves one partner losing himself or “killing” himself. Deep aspirations and needs remain unsatisfied. Red light is on and we know clearly that this is not going to end well.
We are not ready to admit and remember that someone broke our heart a long time ago. This partner only reopens the wound that never truly healed. Something important has not been resolved from the past and power to heal it completely sometimes goes beyond this incarnation.
Challenging relationship may involve natal Saturn/Moon and Saturn/Pluto aspects in houses V, VII and VIII in synastry and composite. Sometimes it’s about unrequited love or a secret relationship as we’re addicted to someone’s energy. Emphasized Neptune will show a sense of guilt and a partner who gives everything to others until there is nothing to be given anymore.
Together with Pluto, love takes a form of psychedelic addiction. We cannot let go of thinking about that partner. We cannot stop wanting them. Deep Pluto energy does not give time to rest. It unlocks intense desires that can lead to extreme behavior where we lose control in love.
Relationship may include energy attacks, obsessive ideas/thoughts and feeling that no one is like him/her. We can’t let go no matter how much we suffer. Sometimes even after partner’s death, his spirit appears in our room. There were various situations… I will write about Venus/Pluto aspects in detail in the future posts.
But I can’t let him go…
Karmic relationship is hard to get over and heal. Passion can be renewed even after years without contact. Many karmic relationships are very difficult to break up due to irrational-obsessive behavior of one person. We feel that something is pulling us towards this person without having control over our actions. All this has nothing to do with love. It can lead us to love ourselves, although in reality it is not always the case. Some people just fall apart when such relationship breaks and need a lifetime to pick themselves up.
Ex-partner may demand to have control over us, to which we agree with desire to keep ‘’love’’ even when it is gone. If VIII house is emphasized, passion will be strong even after breakup. We can be attracted to him even when we hate him or he has hurt us badly. Jealousy and revenge overflow our emotions and keep us stuck in past. We can see underdeveloped part of our personality through this person’s blocking behavior that shows our unconscious traits.
Ex-partner doesn’t understand our needs. If we still love ourselves less and have given up our own power, we cannot get over it. That is why it is crucial that our behavior towards ourselves changes, that we do not do same things and repeat same stories in our head. Sometimes we literally have holes in our energy field through which our energy is drained even when relationship is over. We need to learn to give energy which we channeled into this relationship now to ourselves on a practical, tangible and measurable level.
If there is a strong obsession with an ex-partner, we should interpret natal Pluto, house/planets in Scorpio, VIII house and aspects to Neptune. Obsession involves not seeing a person or relationship as it is. We might follow him online and draw conclusions about what he feels and thinks even though we haven’t spoken.
Love is like a narcotic, but like any narcotic it only prolongs sleep and escape from reality. Internet “helps” a lot here, because now we can follow a person we like through social networks and interpret his behavior and habits even without actually knowing him. It seems to us that we are close even though we are not.
Natal Pluto/Moon will indicate difficult feelings and attachment, but also passive aggression. Moon/Pluto in synastry controls with fear because there are expectations and something that needs to be done in order not to lose love. We attach ourselves to those who hurt us afraid of being abandoned like in childhood. Moon/Mars can indicate strong sexual energy and emotional stress. Pregnancy happens fast and relationship is characterized by impatience.
We are constantly hoping, wishing and desperately trying to get in touch with person we love. He (unconsciously) feels energetic pressure and wants to run away from us. All this escalates over time and leads to very ugly words. Unpleasant scenes are frequent and love turns into hate. It annoys us that he doesn’t want what we want.
Neptune involved through natal I/VII house will show that we must heal ourselves in order to love and be loved. Of course, many healing and alternative techniques can help. However, ex-partner, if breakup was really ugly, will not like this new self we are building. When we understand how to heal ourselves, he doesn’t need us anymore. I have noticed that working on yourself is an effective way to “get rid of ex-lovers”.
Why does love hurt???
Pluto relationships reopen deep wounds. When VIII house and Scorpio are emphasized, it is especially painful when this happens. Emotions are strong, but beneath them is a great abyss into which we are thrown by running away from ourselves. We will definitely be pushed into it sooner or later.
In these relationships, we feel old anger and past bitterness because we allowed ourselves to lose control again. Those old emotions become toxic and turbulent, activated by any kind of possible loss, sadness or vulnerability that we can’t deal with. Without healing, we cannot have a stable relationship or trust our partner.
Painful past prevents us from enjoying the now. However, it is our past and we need to take responsibility for it. That is the only way to regain our personal power. We need to work on many levels to heal because karmic memories are deeply stored within us. Karmic relationship is an initiation for a change in core of our being. If it does not happen, we relive the same story with a different partner.
Sun/Pluto square in synastry, where transformation initiated by our partner is putting pressure on us, triggers psychological stress. Disagreement persists because of strong passion and destruction. After karmic relationship, if we are lucky enough to gather strength to end it, we are still emotionally dead for a while. We are not aware that we are dead during this relationship, too, in many ways. These individuals work against each other feeding on drama and turbulent scenes.
In last few years, I have often received messages from clients who believe they have found their twin flame. Still relationship didn’t happen because this partner was in another relationship already. Those who follow my work know that I like verified things and facts. Therefore I admit that this topic has never particularly motivated me. Concept of twin flames is very popular even though it is neither provable nor proven.
If it really exists, which no one knows, twin flames would make up less than 1% of all people in the world. As a result, we don’t have astrological factors that we could reliably take for analysis. There is only a strong desire that it is all true, but it is not enough. At least not for me! Reason why this type of love is considered rare is because it requires a very spiritual person as an energy carrier.
In order to meet a part of your soul in someone else’s body, you need to be spiritually developed. Such union is not sexual, but “integration of your Soul”. Even very spiritually advanced persons realize through love relationships that manipulation and emotional abuse still exist! If natal Neptune is emphasized, time for this love story never comes or it has long passed and can only be remembered or dreamed.
Twin flame relationship would be devoid of manipulation and control, so it automatically excludes Pluto’s aspects and passion. We need to rule out Neptune’s deception and dreams that we failed to fulfill in reality. Twin flames rule out mind-level analysis, interpretation and philosophizing, but seek openness without doubt and surrender to something greater than ourselves. If these two persons do start a relationship in real life, disappointment is very possible.
After all, Soul never makes choices that separate one person from all others, because it is aware that we are all One. Unfortunately, in the last few years, this concept has given birth to “experts” who help twin flames to unite. Daydreaming, wishful thinking and idealization are present in large quantities, but they are present in general in any life topic because that is vibration of most of humanity. It is probably why lie is common currency.
When a karmic synastry client comes to me claiming to have found their “twin flame”, it usually happens that we don’t have complete information about this partner. We can’t even do a simple astrological analysis let alone the karmic one. In any case, it is clear that “we do not have complete information”. It is also a way Cosmos is showing us to focus on other things in our life.
Twin flames are generally desired and “found” by those who have been disappointed in love or who think that love is what you see in romantic comedies. Those who have suffered a lot and now it seems as if Universe has looked at them and all the suffering will be taken away with a magic wand. There are people who are prone to deception and illusions, who want to believe in the idea of a prince and a fairytale.
Sometimes I get enthusiastic when I listen to their stories because Neptune is easy to believe in since we all want a happily ever after. I am no different from you. Neptune together with Venus in XII house can indicate a relationship based on an unrealistic fantasy, especially if we lost someone we loved very much in childhood.
I have noticed following characteristics when Neptune is strongly emphasized:
- dishonesty towards oneself
- creating a false persona to please others
- pretending to be something we are not
- sacrifice for love
- denial of truth and facts
- ignoring some other more important problem
- we don’t think for ourselves because everything is clouded by longing
- unclear personal boundaries and code of conduct
- once upon a time we lost a part of ourselves and now we are unsuccessfully looking for ourselves in others
If we are not whole, there is no person who will complete us, nor could it be a formula for a healthy relationship. One who does not have himself can hardly complete someone else. Also, emotional instability and sadness cannot lead to love! Love is not a product that you get when you join someone, but an indicator of balance with yourself.
In this post, I have chosen to discuss obsessiveness in karmic relationships and twin flames because there is most deception and doubt. Although it can seem desirable, in real life twin flames are more often a milder version of karmic relationships. Both represent an unhealthy way of manifesting love energy, leading us down the road to hell. And no, this word is by no means an exaggeration!
I’m not a supporter of twin flames because I’ve seen many wonderful people who spent years thinking that someone was their “twin flame”. Love that is lived in real life is much more beautiful than love in imagination no matter how much we think it is different! And if I ever find proof and it turns out I’m wrong, you’ll be the first to know. Until then, karmic relationships remain my fascination and subject of study. In the next post I will focus on karmic marriages.