In this text, I will continue with karmic love focusing on marital compatibility. Karmic relationships are always associated with a huge hunger for a specific partner and a deep fear of abandonment. They are mostly defined by emotional instability due to strong chemistry and don’t necessarily lead to marriage. And if they do, it is very uncomfortable for at least one person.
You might think that I don’t believe in love because I analyze it through a magnifying glass… However, love is something completely different from maintaining a relationship in real life. Astrology clearly showed me that. Synastry does not necessarily mean that love will win or survive. Through this technique, we can see how planetary energies of two people agree, but not always and how long it will last.
If one or both persons do not understand their personality, they will hardly be able to understand each other. That is why it is always better study your birth chart, not your partner’s. His/her planets are just a reflection of your (mis)understanding of yourself.
Aspects in synastry
In karmic relationships we can experience only what exists in our chart. That’s our Path. Quality of a love relationship is manifested when your partner activates a certain factor in your chart. Basically, we all have potential for wonderful and terrible relationships.
However, it depends on us what quality is more prevalent. There is nothing in astrology that gives 100% guarantees and promises. Moreover, aspects do not have to manifest in a certain way. Especially in synastry and marriage which is an entity unto itself!
Challenging aspect should serve as indicators of what needs to be worked. They are by no means a sign that a relationship is doomed. I have noticed that they can be more helpful than easy aspects! It is important to understand that any aspect can be problematic if we do not know how to work with it. In synastry we usually see a challenging natal aspect transformed. Natal conjunction can appear as a square in synastry if we need to work on it.
If inner planets do not have synastry aspects, intimacy cannot usually develop even if we see elements of passion. Challenging aspect will show that something is missing for enjoyment and happiness to last because individual natures are different. It is better to have no aspects compared to challenging ones if we have that same synastry aspect in our chart. This creates additional challenges, but it is an opportunity to overcome inner problems.
Sun and Moon aspects as factors of family inheritance
Relationship of our parents is our first lesson that we have unconsciously absorbed. Challenging Sun/Moon aspects can show tension between parents and strong marital karma. It is seen in synastry and composite when persons are strongly attracted to each other. Such a relationship is not sustainable for long because they do not understand each other. There is no stability and security. Relationship can be characterized by frustration and stress.
Problems are energetically stored in us, but it is revealed through our partner. We may think we need love of a particular partner, but we need our own love. Truth is that many people don’t love themselves if they are in a dysfunctional relationship. In order to go through healing, we often need a psychological crisis if mother or father was prone to such behavior.
When Sun, Moon or Venus is in XII house, relationship between parents can be of limited duration. At a mature age, this can be reflected as an attraction to secret and hidden love affairs. Experience has taught us that love means that something is missing. Love means that our partner leaves us and that we are not interesting to him. There are fantasies that we can’t implement in practice because only secrets can live in XII house.
We use that mechanism in marriage because we haven’t learned how to act correctly. Here we are talking about an inherited pattern that is broken by a change in behavior. If this is not done, energy moves to marital relationship. It is necessary to understand that marriage karma is much harder than karma in an emotional relationship.
If children and real estate are involved, it adds to complexity. There are many examples of women who stay married because they think they are doing a favor to their family or children… This only opens door to serious health problems.
Do Moon aspects in synastry guarantee marriage?
If his Moon aspects her planets, it is certainly an important relationship. Moon inconjunction usually indicates that marriage cannot (easily) occur. However, we must consider both birth charts. Woman in partner’s presence could manifests and unconsciously reflect features of his natal Moon. Sometimes his natal Moon is a complete negation of her true qualities. With time she eventually loses what made her partner fall in love with her.
For example, if a woman has Moon in Cancer, she can start acting like Moon in Aries to seduce him. She won’t be able to do that forever because it’s not her nature. Her emotional needs aren’t met that way. Partner will experience her “transformation” as attractive because he sees himself in it. However, when a woman becomes a mother, she will want to live her nature. That nature is Moon in Cancer, not his Moon in Aries. Returning to her natural energy will be strange to him and destroy passion.
A “war” or “emotional blackmail” will arise, as a negative manifestation of natal Moon principle. It is enough to add one longer transit and love disappears/marriage falls apart. Venus square Mars, Mars in XII house, VIII house ruler conjunct ascendant and Pluto in I house may be present. However, Moon and Sun are important for marriage. In conjunction or trine, that partner is what we need to find happiness. Two Souls love and complement each other because they are bound by similarities.
How to assess marital compatibility?
We will analyze Moon aspects and dispositors of both people. As in everything in astrology, we have to analyze things in context. That kind of analysis requires a lot of experience. We pay special attention to applying aspects and rulers. To get a basic idea of how your natal Moon lines up with your partner’s Moon, count signs from your Moon to his Moon and vice versa. For a good marriage and a loving relationship where both people have their emotional needs met, it is better to have smaller number of signs from his to your Moon.
For example, it is a much better option if your partner’s Moon is in Taurus and yours is in Leo, than other way around. Also, square and opposition should not always be blamed for “bad relationships”. Exact aspects of Moon in synastry show a stronger connection. Larger the orb, the greater is possibility that relationship may not occur. If aspect is out of sign then it is more complex to analyze and various deviations from usual are possible.
Synastry on paper may seem great, but in practice it doesn’t have to turn out like that at all. It is affected by transits, too. For some of you, time to be with that specific partner may never come, no matter how good synastry is. Remember that we never compare just two birth charts, but two Souls and timeless energies! That’s why question of compatibility can give variable answers. Everything changes in Universe! Another good side of astrology!
Can Lunar Nodes in VII house bring divorce?
No position of Nodes by itself brings anything. For example, Nodes in IV/X house can indicate divorce if we find it difficult to balance family and career. South Node in IV house can show someone who invests all energy in work, but cannot fulfill family promises. Other plans always get in the way, which eventually leads to family suffering.
North Node in IV house can show that family does not fulfill all our needs and we are confused about our career. It is difficult for us to share this with our partner and family, which creates an atmosphere of mistrust. Also, South node in VII house indicates someone who has experience in relationships, but needs to learn to be alone and self-sufficient. For this reason, marriages are broken until we learn to be independent. Only then do we attract a sincere relationship.
If North Node is in VII house, we can put too much focus on independence. Due to lack of relationship experience, marriage is postponed which is recommended and can improve in quality over time. However, I have noticed that it can be preceded by years of pain and suffering because it is still a karmic relationship. It depends on sign and aspects. It mostly depends on openness and honesty to see ourselves and what we do when no one is watching.
Practice has shown me that divorce happens for people with Nodes in all twelve houses. It can be more visible in transits, too. Sun square Uranus in synastry can indicate people having different life views and not sharing same ideals. While one partner tries to create life together, the other destroys it or creates stress that “shakes” and “annoys”. Stress is a form of karma, as well.
How important is VII house in marriage synastry?
VII house shows part of our personality that we have not accepted and that we are not aware of, so we experience it in relationships. Karmic partner through planets that fall into our VII house helps us develop that part of ourselves. If we did not reject it, it would not be necessary for it to be revealed to us from outside. We have to pay attention to house rulers in both natal charts and assess their compatibility. Whether they form an aspect and what happens to dispositors also matters.
Consider how other people display your qualities and unconscious traits. This is exactly what we need to see to undestand what our behavior is like. And until we integrate our VII house and traits of that sign, there are problems in all relationships. Partner is blamed for them of course. However, no one can complete us and make us happy if we are not able to see ourselves completely and honestly.
If his Mars is in VII house that can indicate crises and instability. Partner energizes and aggravates our VII house creating strong sense of attraction. We want to be in a passionate relationship with this person. Mars with Uranus would show difficult compatibility and reactive temperament due to energetic mismatch. Violent quarrels and inability to meet our partner in some of his expectations show that marriage can’t be maintained.
How do I know he’s The One?
If I, as an astrologer, need to confirm that to you, I will immediately tell you that he is probably not. Don’t waste money on such analyses. There is no such thing as The One. Each person enters your life to teach you something important during a given period of time. First study your Moon and see what you can do to be happy. Natal Moon will show how emotionally fulfilled we can be and what we need. We must also look at Jupiter because it is our ideal marriage partner, especially when it has aspects to Sun.
Moon in Virgo can hardly see anyone in this world as ideal. He lives for finding flaws. In Aquarius, very thought of forever terrifies and frightens him. Don’t think everyone wants the ONE. For example, woman with more planets in male signs (Aries, Gemini, Leo…) compared to female ones (Taurus, Cancer, Virgo…), if we count inner planets and ascendant, tends to avoid to enter into a serious relationship. Her strong energy should/does not want to submit.
With Moon in Taurus or Cancer, we may have more luck than other signs. This is not always the case if opposition is involved or we ourselves do not know what we need to make us feel emotionally safe. Sometimes Moon has been “weak” since childhood. Natal chart with lots of retrograde planets, especially Venus and Mars, can bring love that smells and tastes like past. Then we learn what love is with same person in multiple attempts. Most attempts are unsuccessful, because luck lies elsewhere.
I have discussed influence of Neptune in previous text, but when it comes to marriage, we have an additional dimension. Here it is more often about specific situations that cause us to be disappointed. It’s fascinating how some marriages can last a long time, but constantly on verge of divorce. It is probably because one partner denies himself and his desires. Planets in Pisces and a lot of Neptune usually indicate love insincerity, especially in aspect to Venus or Moon.
There will usually be multiple factors telling the same story. Sometimes Uranus is there and secret relationship is revealed. Or Pluto, where it is easier to hide it. I have noticed that internal conflict always pushes potential partners away from us, but this also applies to married people.
In addition, psychological problems through squares to natal Sun make it difficult to find an adequate person for marriage. Some people “make mistakes” more than once. If man has more female planets, it complicates conditions for marriage in traditional sense to be realized due to imbalance of typical male-female roles.
Some authors of astrological literature believe that man’s Sun in lower and woman’s Sun in upper part of chart can indicate a more difficult connection. Sometimes reason is past life when we were married. However, she was in a man’s body and he was in a woman’s body. Retrograde Mars and Venus, especially with problematic dignity, can be prone to issues. They see themselves as not good enough to be loved and deserving of love.
This is not case with a mature person and is more often a problem in youth. However, when we are cheated on, real truth is always that we, in some way, cheated or lied to a loved one or created an illusion. Women do this easily through clothes, make-up and filtered images on social networks.
Person with weak boundaries is not fully connected to his feelings and gets lost in other people’s. Usually, body and thoughts are not in a good relationship. We do not understand what our body is telling us. We see this in attitude towards nutrition, dressing, walking, posture, etc. This is how Neptune “gives itself away”.
With such aspects, there may be a need to escape from reality, which includes alcoholism and “lack of responsibility”. Neptune often in aspect to Moon/Venus in marital synastry shows an unhealthy emotional relationship. There will never be just one aspect, but a recurring theme. Person may have a vulnerable hyperemotional nature and strive for love that will save her. She usually gets sick, loses things or is very forgetful. She believes in lies even before marriage.
Neptune can be seen in her life through several indicators for her to become aware of it. All this can be accompanied by problematic Mercury when person thinks irrationally and is prone to mental delusions intuitively not trusting herself. Since Neptune traditionally indicates fairy tales, fantasy, dreams, magic and glamor, it can also show a relationship that only exists in our head. If it does happen, it cannot last or go from secret to something stable.
Interestingly, Neptune is also wedding, which is different from responsibility a marriage entails. When Neptune is prominent in transits on wedding day, caution must be required. Neptunian love has healing potential only if we see things realistically, which excludes unsustainable and unrealistic perfection. If we focus on tangible and practical, not on ethereal and astral, it is possible to make our desires come true.
Why do karmic marriages bring disappointment?
No matter how much it seems like a romantic movie, reality is far from it. I will reveal to you why this is as far as astrology is concerned. Sometimes we see Neptune’s influence through good aspects that are not being used in highest level. Sometimes rulers form challenging aspects with VII house dispositor. Neptune does not allow us to understand what problem is hiding it away.
Well-placed Neptune can be “badly” used, which is immediately seen through daydreaming and imagining what is not there. These people may benefit from reading about relationship psychology! They often believe that partner will change. Often alcohol and various other substances are widely used. Planet involved in aspect to Neptune experiences great disappointment, but continues to conceal the truth and living a lie.
Neptune is always some form of anesthesia due to great pain. However, there is no such remedy if we continue to be victims. Sometimes we attract partners with prominent Neptune which is a strong factor in both synastry and composite. Persons with prominent natal Neptune in first house may be particularly prone to delusions in karmic marriages.
Context always determines everything
When Saturn squares Venus, person cannot enjoy love because of expecting it to go away. She may think her love will not be reciprocated or feels she has not enough love to give. However, when Uranus is active in addition to Neptune, we can suddenly fall in love because it seems that we have found what we have always been looking for.
But everything happens so fast that we don’t even have time to think about the consequences. Relationship starts while we are married to someone else and surely one of it will end. Also, as long as we blame our partner nothing can’t be fixed. Thus, we cannot change much externally. Some secrets will be especially true if XII house is emphasized or transiting Neptune is in VII house.
Running away from truth is often easier. If we continue to believe in what we clearly see is shown to be untrue, we must become aware that we are maintaining relationship that does not have healthy foundation. It rests on toxic behavioral patterns. This topic is very deep and in next post I will elaborate more on Uranus ‘s connected to termination of karmic relationships. It is connected to beginning of relationships that do not aim at longevity of love.
Everything I write is based on astrological research and experience working with people in karmic relationships/marriages or who have just come out of it. I know that some truths are painful and not easy to hear. I want to thank all of you who sent questions in last few months and thus contributed to this post being made. I want to especially thank all of you who showed me effect of astrological theory in practice through karmic astrology and past life regression!